Wait, I'm a Demigod?
by Lil' Bit Crazy
Summary: Three nerds find out their Demigods. Follow Fern, Deven, Hayley, and Shazer on their journey to find three missing sayters and their destineys. WARNING: This is purely for a laugh, it is NOT a very deep book, nor does it have very good spelling, grammer, or sentance structure. It is funny, that is the main attribute. So read if you want, and I will be delighted if you review. : )
1. All About the Nerds

**PS the chapters are short but I will update the chapters kk!**

* * *

Deven

A normal day. Fern had a shirt with a blow-up picture of a bunny on it and a wolf hat.

She was acting like a cat... Let me introduce myself, I am Deven Ace, a huge nerd.

Roberto was eating the hot lunch. I get the grilled cheese almost every day but the other hot lunch was gross.

Today was turkey-rice gravy stew, ooh appetizing.

Hayley was jabbering excitedly to Fern, she had gotten 2 reviews on fan fiction!

Sammy was sitting silently and staring at us as normal.

I was eating 4 cookies for lunch (the hot lunch cost 4$ and cookies 1$). I LOVE cookies...a lot.

We got into class. It was science, oh and did I mention we were learning about the excretory system.

We couldn't go five seconds without someone laughing. Wait till growth and development!

I was sleeping, Sammy was staring, Roberto was kicking Sammy, Hayley was reading Percy Jackson under her desk, and Fern was drawing a picture entitled "Jayfeather", reading a book, writing a fanfic, and doing her science homework all at the same time.

Bell PLEASE ring!

* * *

Hayley

After school...

Yay, Deven had a cookie! Time to steal it from him.

I whispered my plan to Fern and she giggled.

She was the distraction. She would go in the front and poke Alex continuously, while I would go around back and steal his remaining 2 cookies.

Unfortunately, Fern got distracted with someone's tea-cup dog and Deven snatched his cookies back. It ended up creating an all-out poke war between me and Deven.

Then, my mom was there - we would continue the poke war tomorrow.

* * *

Fern 

At Fern's house...

I LOVE dogs! There was the cutest doggie at school! It was sooo cute!

I told my mom and went into my room to do my homework.

I put my headphones on, put out my book, got out my math homework, and multitasked reading/doing homework/listening to music.

My room is the color green, you could hardly tell though because my walls are with puppy posters.

I am kinda a hippie, but not really, just kinda.

I have beads hanging in my doorway (I made it by cutting open Mardi gras necklaces and hung them on the ceiling) and I am for peace and stuff.

Yah...I like drawing too, I draw Warrior cats!

Okay...that's me! PS I really think Roberto is a satyr who is at my school to find out if me, Hayley, and Deven are demigods (we totally are!). I ask him everyday but he always asks me what I'm talking about, he must be a good actor!


	2. Another Day

Deven

The next day...

Our English teacher, Ms. Herrz, was on the phone.

Every Friday she and the other 6th grade teachers went out for lunch. She always ordered on the phone.

Today Mr. Weathers was having a chicken-bean power plate from Sharkey's.

Well, it was better than my grilled cheese - probably - maybe - 2% - probably not. (Well I knew for sure that it wasn't better than my cookies!)

I waited anxiously for the bell to ring - I and Hayley had extreme poke war to finish.

* * *

At recess...

I knew Hayley was going to look for me to finish our poke war - so I decided to play a prank on her.

I knew that Hayley HATED seaweed, I didn't really like it either, but my mom thought I did.

Every day my mom packed it and for the last month I hadn't eaten it and stashed it in the small pocket of my backpack.

I knew I could use it one day - today was the day. I looked around and nobody was here.

I took everything out of her lunch and threw it away (except the Tupperware and her oatmeal cookies - oatmeal cookies were better than no cookies - I took those for myself)

I opened the seaweed and put it in her lunch box (and put some in her Tupperware!) Wait till she saw it, she was going to be steamed!

* * *

**PLEASE COMMENT!**


	3. Creature Teacher

**Son: Dad, WHY did you make me a bagel this morning?  
Dad: Because I thought you would like a bagel.  
Son: Well WHY didn't you ASK ME FIRST? I don't WANT A BAGEL! I don't feel like a bagel, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME A BAGEL?!  
Dad: It's what I made you, now please EAT IT!  
Noah: Dad, I'm finished with my bagel and I'm still hungry!  
Dad: Well, what else would you like me to make you?  
Son: Oh SURE!- NOW you ask me what I want!  
Dad: You finished the terrible food that I forced upon you, so now I will make you whatever you want. Anything. Just name it.  
Son: I'll just have another bagel.**

* * *

**HEY EVERYONE ****MUST**** COMMENT OR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND GET YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!**

* * *

Deven

Today we had a substitute teacher. (Meanwhile Hayley poked me so hard for the seaweed that I had to go to the nurse.)

So...our substitute was pretty weird, she kept hanging around and staring at Jimmy Arnold (the fattest kid in school - All three of us are notoriously skinny but Roberto is a little chubby)

Well, today something weird happened - besides the substitute. Sammy probably said her first complete sentence of the year

"Isn't that sub kind of weird," she asked me, her face expressionless.

"Yah I guess."

* * *

Hayley

It all happened so fast.

Our trio was called to the sub after school. Maybe she saw me reading in class. I am a pretty good sneaker but this sub had eagle-sharp eyes.

I could have sworn Sammy was spying on us through the door.

Then, the teacher started...drooling. Her brown eyes were glowing...red. And I'm pretty sure her teeth were razor-sharp.

Wings sprouted out of her back and her skin became leathery. It was like something from Percy Jackson (later I would learn that it was EXACTLY like Percy Jackson!)

This teacher was a CREATURE TEACHER!

Suddenly, Sammy burst through the door with knives in her hands.

Then, she stabbed the sub in the eye?

Most people wouldn't believe they were seeing this, but I - being an avid PJO fan realized what that meant - I actually was a DEMIGOD!

Then I relied something, what if only Fern and Deven were demigods! What if the suspension that was finally building up in my life exploded?!

PS Haley is thinking all this while Sammy fights the monster. PPS (it IS a fury)

* * *

Fern

While Sammy is fighting the bat-teacher I think it is a good time to actually describe ourselves...

* * *

**I AM NOT DESCRIBING SAMMY RIGHT NOW!**

* * *

ME: Hair: BRIGHT RED Eyes: BLACK Personality: DUH PERSON THAT WAS LIKE THE THIRD PARAGRAPH!

*LINE BREAK MADE OF BABY SHARKS BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO*

DEVEN: Hair: LIGHT BROWN Eyes: HAZEL (That made me think of Hazel the demigod MUAH HA HA) Personality: SERIOSLY?!

person: sorry

me: *face palms*

*LINE BREAK MADE OF FACE PALMS* 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D 8D

HAYLEY: Hair: DIRTY BLONDE WITH PUNK STRIPS Eyes: SILVER (Not Gray BOO ATHENA!) Pers...SHUT UP!


	4. We are Demigods

** Wow! We are already on chapter number 2! The chapters are short but that is ma style! NO FLAMES OR I WILL SET GIRLHAYLEY ON YOU WITH A BOW AND ARROW!**

* * *

Deven

That couldn't be a more random time for Fern to describe us sooooo... I guess I will be the one to describe Sammy's monster fight. Unless Sammy wants to do it...

Shazer (Sammy): NO! *brings out knives and flashes them at Deven*

Deven: Okay Okay...

Line Break of Oz the Great and Powerful...

Okay...Where were we? So yeah Sammy burst in stabs teacher in the eye... and here we are.

"Aren't you going to run for you lives?" Sammy asked while dodging the monster's claws.

Normally if I would have used this opportunity to impress Sammy with my monster fighting skills (that I picked up from video games) but... I had no weapon. So, I ran for my life with Fern and Hayley right behind me. It was me, Hayley, and then Fern. (Just so you know Hayley and I are about the same height and Fern is a little shorter. Fern forgot to say that during our descriptions.)

We ran out of the school and out front. Luckily, everyone was gone. A couple of minuets later the janitor ran out of the building screaming like a girl...so I guess we weren't the only ones.

Sammy ran out of the building a bloody mess. There was a gash on her forehead and she was limping but she determinedly ran to us with big ugly behind her. She grabbed our hands and threw something on the ground. Suddenly, we weren't at school anymore.

* * *

Fern

*POOF* And suddenly we were at...CAMP HALF BLOOD!?OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG *randomly starts singing* NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (look up warriors comedy on youtube for reference) *faints*

Hayley

Okay we're not going to get anything else out of Fern right now so it's my turn I guess.

We were at CAMP HALFBLOOD!

Fern: I'm awake now.

Hayley: Well it's my turn!

Fern: Nuh Huh!

Hayley: Please just tell the people whats going on!

Fern: FINE!

* * *

Okay...FINALY!

Fern

Were dozens of mini-houses all around us and sayters trotted by. Pegasi zoomed through the sky and you could faintly hear singing over the sound of the screaming from kids getting lava-pies in their face from the climbing wall.

I leaned in close to Deven and shouted in his ear, "You owe me 100 dollars!"

"What!"

*Flashback to 3rd grade*

"Hey bet you 100 dollars that we're demigods!"

"Your on!"

*Back to the present*

"Oh yah. How do you remember that?"

I shrugged,"I guess it's Demigod powers."

* * *

We watched the orientation video... it was super lame because we already knew all the stuff. When we explained to Chiron we were already familiar with camp half blood from PJO books he muttered to himself, "curse you Rick!"

I couldn't wait to ride a Pegasus and find out my godly parent, it was all I've ever dreamed of but, I was sad because that means one of my parents isn't my real one. My parents were really nice and it would be hard to explain this to them...unlike Hayley's.

* * *

**Guess the parents! Do it in the reviews! Guess Hayley, Fern, and Deaven's godly parents. NO SPOILERS! That means you DevMan!**


	5. We Get Claimed Unusually

Hayley

Sammy wasn't Sammy, that wasn't her real name. It was Shazer. It was cooler but defiantly would have gotten noticed.

Shazer isn't from Camp Halfblood, she's a Roman demigod like from Heros of Olympus. She said that Rick Riordan is Apollo's kid. I think she's SUPER cool...yah she's AWESOME!

Deven

yah...okay Hayley. I don't really understand the whole deal with Sam-Shazer but I don't really care! All I want to know is who my godly parent is.

I got my glowy symbol way before Hayley or Fern...

I was asking Hayley if she wanted to teepee the Aphrodite cabin and suddenly there was a glowing light above my head...a Caduceus...HERMES! I slapped the Stolls awesome high fives and walked to the cabin, I was already staying there anyway.

It was weeks before Hayley got her symbol...

She was in some argument with an Ares girl and I guess she challenged her to a duel. As they started fighting, (Hayley uses bow, Deven sword, Fern hasn't chosen.) some creepy dead guys popped out of the ground. It was kind of apparent, Hayley with her sulky moods was a child of Hades.

Darn, I had some money on Athena

Lastly Fern got hers...

She was lying in the grass talking to a squirrel (normal for Fern) and a iris message appeared from Hera.

"Dear demigod, we are here to inform you your parent is not available so I will just claim you." *There was a space to insert the parent*

...PAN

What the?!

You don't live a tree do you? I got a slap from a sayter.

Fern looked fine.

Alright, Hephaestus cabin, time to build another cabin!

* * *

Fern

I guess I'm a biological a mythological (is that a word?) mistake but this explains a lot, especially how the squirrels know where I live o_o.

And...I get my own cabin...and its a TREE HOUSE! I still haven't chosen a weapon but I want a super cool one like a laser...okay maybe not a laser. But I could just poof a poisonous snake when I want right?

Chiron really is in a tizzy (always wanted to use that word!) because supposedly I shouldn't exist...but I do and now he has to deal with me!

* * *

Deven

Even though its awesome in Hermes cabin I feel kind of jealous. Kids of Hermes are pretty common by demigod standards, Hayley shes a one-in-10-years, and Fern I'm pretty sure something like this never has happened before from the way Chiron is tearing his hair out.

*sighs* I just don't want to be your "run of the mill" demigod.

good conscience: You know, demigods are pretty special as it is.

bad conscience: You know they will get to be awesome heros and go on quests and leave you behind because all you can do is steal Fern's hunger games book. Well at least Hayley will be an awesome hero. I dont know about Fern.

Deven: I don't want to ruin anything for Hayley...she's my best friend.

* * *

**FERN: HEY! DEVEN YOU JUST TOTALLY DISSED ME 2 TIMES! *poisonous snake* **

**Deven: HELP ME!**

**Do you think there should be romance? Horn? Dern? Corn? REVIEW!**

**Did you like it?, hate it?, only know if you review!**


	6. A Prophecy

Hayley

We had a couple of days of training and peace before something happened. The Hades cabin was empty; the way I liked it. Nico wasn't here at camp now. Deven loved the Stolls and their pranks. He was adjusting the best, me not so much. It was fun pulling pranks with Deven but something weird was going on between us, and I didn't like it.

Fern

My cabin was beautiful. Sunlight streamed through the wide windows and their flowing pale-green curtains. The floor was a tall grass carpet that ticked my feet. The roof looked like the sky and whatever time of day it was. robin-egg blue in the morning, dark and starry in the night. It had a very natural feel. Every cabin was designed for multiple people even though I was the only Demigod daughter of Pan. I slept in a bunk bed, the top bunk unoccupied, with silk-green sheets. I loved the breeze and the sweet-grass smell that filled the room. Different birds had nests in the rafters and bunnies hopped on the grassy floor. I loved it.

Hayley

Like I said, after a couple of days something BIG happened.

The three of us were in Fern's cabin discussing how coincidental it is that her name was Fern. We liked using Fern's cabin as our hangout, Deven's was too crowded and neither of them liked the feel my cabin gave them. Personally, I liked Fern's cabin.

Well suddenly Chiron burst in. I didn't know how he climbed the ladder but I guess he's magical or something. He told us he needed us though I couldn't imagine why.

Near the lake we saw Rachel, her eyes were glowing and she was speaking in a deep raspy voice. People were taking note of everything she said. The oracle. A prophecy. A quest.

Then, she collapsed. The Appollo cabin took her back to her cave.

I ran over to see the prophecy, and gasped.

"_four shall go before giant creatures_

_one stealer, one wild, one roman, death's child_

_One's true destiny will be uncovered when they discover one's secret brother"_

Death's child. A quest.

Deven

Wow, a quest right when we come to camp!

Do you think I could be on it?

It's pretty clear that Fern is the wild one, I mean she's pretty wild, but her father is Pan, god of the _wild_.

Hayley, duh, DEATH'S CHILD!

I should be on this quest! I mean the _stealer_ I guess it's obvious that it's a Hermes kid but it HAS to be me! I need to look after Hayley!

* * *

**Hayley: I can kill stuff you know!**

**Deven: YOU don't play video games!**

**Hayley: VIDEO GAMES SUCK!**

**Deven: TAKE IT BACK!**

* * *

The roman one is Shazer, I mean what are the odds we have a Roman demigod here when we have a prophecy that calls for a Roman demigod.

The part about the brother thing is Chiron's problem, f Fern had a brother he would probably have a heart-attack (f centuars can have them)

I don't know about "_one's true destiney will be uncovered_" my destiney is to be a great hero, right?


	7. Artemis's Hunters

Fern

A QUEST! YAY!

Well...apart from maybe dying...yay!

Hayley says I might have a brother, that would be cool, I wouldn't be so lonely in my cabin. I think Hayley is lonely too, she always comes to my cabin, but Hayley says that Hade's kids don't get lonely. I don't think that's true.

Hayley said she is going to join Artemis' Hunters. She told me because she doesn't know how to tell Deven. I ask her why she can't tell him and she said she can't marry or have a boyfriend if she joins Artemis' Hunters.

WHAT! Deven doesn't like-like Hayley!

Okay, maybe a little, but not _that_ much, right?

* * *

Hayley

I have to tell Deven.

*takes deep breath*

"Deven, I am joining Artemis' Hunters which means I CAN'T have a boyfriend!"

It's over, I wait for a reaction.

Deven blinks

"Yah, I know you can't have a boyfriend if you join Artemis' Hunters, I read Percy Jackson, " he says

"Aren't you upset?' I ask

"A little, after all, you're going to make a lot of new friends and maybe not have time for me anymore," Deven replied

"I will always have time for you," I say and pause, I thought you like-liked me."

Deven laughs," Hayley, you're a great friend but I could never date you, I mean look at your hair!"

I slap him playfully

He laughs again,"Unless my overwheming charm has gotten to _you_."

Ewwww...no!

We both laugh, and in midst of all the drama, quest and all, I feel kinda...happy.


	8. Fern's Brain

Deven

I am glad that whole thing with Hayley is over, I mean me and Hayley, that could NEVER happen. We are really good friends, best friends,

* * *

FERN: DEVEN!

* * *

but that's all we will ever be, friends. (sorry to burst your bubble Haven and Deley promoters) Besides she's in The Hunters now so even if I wanted to I COULDN'T date her, not like I wanted to.

* * *

Fern

I kind of feel left out, even though Haven will sadly never happen Hayley and Deven are really good friends, without me.

Well I'M going to have a brother, and YOUR not, so take that!

Fern's brain: You know, Deven or Hayley or even Shazer could be the one with the brother.

Fern: I will force it to be me.

Fern's brain: Even though you super magical and awesome I don't know if you can do that

Fern: Yes, I can, I have a poisonous snake!

Fern's brain: ...

Fern: I can use it on anyone who disagrees with me. Including you! MUAH HA HA HA *lightning flashes*

Fern's brain: I'm your subconscious!

Fern: STOP WITH THE GOOBLY GOOK AND TALK ENGLISH!

Fern's brain: *facepalm* I'm your brain, If I die, so do you.

Fern: oh, WHAT THE HECK!

OWWWWW!

*Fern blacks out*

* * *

Hayley

We found Fern passed out in the field.

I really don't understand that girl but she is a good friend.

I saw some sayters dragging her back to her tree house. The sayters treat her like royalty since she is the only demigod descendant of Pan.

Wait till' Grover gets back from his latest mission in New Jersey, Juniper's going to get jealous!


	9. Finally We Start The Quest!

**Don't know why my chapies are getting so short but deal with it and review!**

* * *

Hayley

I know it has been awhile since the prophecy and we STILL haven't gone on the quest yet, but the problem is we have no directions from the prophecy.

Finally, Chiron got a report of three missing sayters in New Jersey and finally the quest will begin.

I have hung out with Shazer a lot lately, she is super cool!

I think Fern is getting a little jealous, but that could NEVER happen EVER EVER EVER...yah, maybe she's a little jealous.

Fern

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! QQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTT TT!

I LOVE ALL-CAPS!

I think that Hayley thinks that I use too many exclamation points...But I am REALLY passionate!

Yah, I'm starting to think I use too many too!

NOOO I USED AN EXCLAMATION POINT!  
NOOOOO.

I am going through exclamation point withdrawal.

I hate periods.

HAHAHAHAHA  
I am so immature!

So I guess this is a chapie of Fern's personal blog.

Just to get things funny before we go on the quest and get all serious.

Classic Fern humor.

Why am I talking in third-person?

0-0

* * *

Deven

We are FINALLY starting the quest.

The plane ride to New Jersey was pretty normal considering we have a child of Hades AND Pan.

I mean I'm surprised that we didn't run into a monster sooner, like in elementary school.

Yah, weird. Maybe Fern had some protection of the gods because she is so important.

Fern has been acting weird since we started the quest, more serious (not SERIOUS just a LITTLE more serious)

I don't know, it is just strange to see Fern sitting still, reading a book, on a airplane, with peanuts.


	10. ZEUS!

Fern

The peanuts were really good. I mean, even though people say airplane food is bad, but there's nothing like airplane peanuts. Why do airplanes sell peanuts anyway?

I thought that peanuts were only for baseball games.

Oh whatever!

* * *

Hayley

Our first incident came on the airplane, you all know demigods should avoid flying (especially enemies of Zeus) but since none of us had ever met with Zeus, we didn't think he had anything against us.

Well, I think we were wrong.

After the first 15 minuets, dark clouds filled the sky. The plane started shaking and lightning flashed outside the plane...getting closer.

The pilot tried to calm the passengers, but most of them were screaming.

I murmured a quiet,"Curse you Zeus," and found Fern and Deven.

* * *

Deven

There was a lightning storm!

Once you're a demigod you know that these things aren't a coincidence.

WTF Zeus!

The plane was really shaking now and I fought to keep my balance.

Lightning flashed right outside the window.

I couldn't die! I needed to say goodbye to my cookie!

The co-pilot was handing out parachutes now, I damn hope we don't need them!

The pilot's voice came over the loud-speaker, "Everyone stay calm! We are going to make an emergency landing."

We started declining towards the ground.

But then, something happened, lightning hit the plane!

The plane split in half!

Luckily, Fern, Hayley, and I were still together, but I couldn't see Shazer and we were falling fast.

I grabbed Hayley's hand and Fern's palm - covered in markers doodles and jumped!

* * *

Hayley

I can't believe I jumped off a plane.

For a second I was in shock and then I came back to it and pulled the parachute.

I saw Deven had already done so and was urging Fern to open her's.

I didn't see any other passengers from the plane and I hate to think what happened to them.

Forget what I said, demigods should ALWAYS avoid flying.

We floated down for some time and finally landed in a pretty glade.

There was nobody and nothing there.

*Fern is has a bunny on her face*

*facepalms*

I'm not going to ask.


	11. A Lot of Crying

Deven

So we survived falling from an airplane, were stuck in the wilderness, and Fern was hugging rabbits and squirrels.

This is enough, I just saved Fern's life - without me telling her she would have never opened the parachute.

"I don't know why we even need Fern on this quest, I started, She can't do anything for herself, she doesn't even have a weapon! It could be just me, you (Hayley), and Shazer and everything would be better! WE DON'T NEED HER!"

There were tears in Fern's eyes now and she disappeared into the woods.

There was a disapproving look on Hayley's face and she ran into the forest too.

I was now truly alone.

* * *

Hayley

I don't know what caused Deven's sudden outbreak, but Fern was visibly hurt.

I found Fern sitting on a tree stump under a willow.

"Hayley, she asked, being a demigod is what we all wanted, why is everything wrong!"

"I don't know Fern, I said, I don't know."

Fern. laughing always.

Fern. Hugging squirrels.

Fern. Thinking up the funniest and the most random things to say.

Fern.

I never wanted her to change.

_Flashback_

* * *

First day of school.

Meets Deven.

Deven's friend.

Fern.

In reading groups.

Together.

Hanging out more.

Best Friends.

Fern.

* * *

Fern

...*is crying*...

...

...

I can change if that's what Deven wants!

I can be serious and boring is that's what Deven prefers everyone to be!

_Flashback_

* * *

Me and Deven had been hanging out since third grade.

In fifth grade Deven introduced me to Hayley.

We were in a reading group together.

My dad sometimes volunteered.

"I think you'll be friends with that Hayley girl, he said, You and her seem similar."

I shrugged.

Little did I know...

* * *

My dad.

Not really my dad.

My mom.

Who knows if she was my mom!

I miss them through.

How many empty threats of running away I shared with Hayley, I missed them.

*crying*

What happened to Deven!?

* * *

**I know kind of a sad chapie but they will make up.**

**Now you know how the trio met.**

**Sorry TailsDoll13, Shazer will come back in!**


	12. We Make Up! YAY!

Deven

I stared sadly at the ground.

I thought of Fern.

Our relationship was so weird!

We were very good friends, but at the same time I felt like I didn't know her at all.

Fern

I shooed Hayley away, she was a good friend but she tended to be absorbed in her own problems.

I always was silly and random, but I am the same as everyone else. I am a person with feelings.

At school I always hide my true self, not anymore.

Deven

UHH! I am a boy.

A boy who plays video games, a normal boy

_No, you're not, you're a demigod!_

Why did I have to deal with girly relationship problems!?

Me and Hayley. Me and Fern. UHHH!

But I did care, I couldn't say it but I did.

I did care when Hayley cried and Fern pushed me away.

I did care when Hayley threatened to stop talking to me.

I did care when I took Fern's lunchbox.

_But you can't tell them!_

You're right, I can't tell them but I can show it.

Fern

Deven came up to me.

He was a jerk sometimes, but I still liked his company.

"We can't keep doing this soap-opera stuff for long, the readers want action," he said.

A smile played on my lips for an instant.

"Deven, this, I."

He hushed me.

He pointed to a tree.

A mother bird was feeding her babies.

He said,"You wouldn't like to scare them."

"Did I ever tell you my middle name?" I asked

"Nope."

"It's Lark."

"cool, he shrugged off this information

I shoved him.

Yes, he was SO insensitive sometimes, but that was probably the difference between boys and girls.

"Hayley told me about your.."'infatuation" with a squirrel," he smirked.

"DEVEN!"

We walked back to Hayley smiling and laughing.

* * *

**Uhh... I trapped myself in the corner with the last chapter. NO FERNxDEVEN! NO! JUST NO! Don't even say it if your thinking it Tailsdoll!**

**But I am not doing any romance! AT ALL! KK! I didn't mean to get all mad! : ) Hope you liked it. REVIEW!**


	13. Fern is Armed (that is a BIG mistake!)

**Hi der Hayley is at ma house she is gona help me with my book!**

Hayley

Okay, last time we forgave each other and all that soap opera type stuff majigs.

Seeing how we are in the middle of the woods, well, we sort of have nothing but each other.

Wow that sounded cheesy.

So...

We have to kind of like survive in the wilderness and all.

I went and started a fire.

Deven sat in the fire. (inside joke!)

Fern started talking to the birds and squirrels to find out what stuff was right to eat.

(Of course, we could always feed Deven the berries to find out.)

Fern

YAYSIEZ! WILDERNESS!

My friend Chjgbviufre and xjyctuxer the birds are gonna show me how to find food.

The brush was getting thicker as I traveled deep into the forest.

A spark caught my eye.

I quickly walked towards it pushing aside branches and leaves.

Floating above a lake was a sword.

The sword had a gold hilt inlaid with rubies! Oooh! fancy!

The sharp part was celestial bronze painted silver, how I knew this, I didn't know.

The one thing I did know was that was MY sword.

A holographic woman came up to me, "To retrive this sword you must pass a series of tests. Many heros have tried.."

"Oh stick a pie in it lady!"

I called some alligators over to make a bridge.

Even though I thought that only worked in movies it actually worked!

The holographic woman had disapeared but not before scowling haughtily.

So ya, maybe I cheated, but when life gives you awesome swords, Take um'

Deven

Fern came back screaming like a lunatic.

Apperently, she got a weapon, finally!

Now she won't be completely usless.

Okay, I admit it, maybe she did help a little.

I just want to get on with the quest!


	14. Griffins?

Hayley

We were almost to New Jersey...when all of a sudden, out of the frickn' sky came a ..well a thing.

It was a monster(obviously)

It was huge, its body long and feathered with massive talons and claws.

It had an eagle's head and wings and a lion's tail.

Apparently, I had no idea what it was!

And did I mention...there were three of them!

Fern

It was a griffin.

I don't know whether it is from greek mythology exactly, but it was real enough to me!

I took out my new sword.

OOOOOH SHINEY!

I was momentarily distracted but then regained focus.

I dealt with one, Deven one, and Hayley another.

We were a good team.

I kind of was swinging my sword blindly around, but I cut of one of its talons and black blood was gushing.

Cons, it was PISSED!

It made these weird choking noises like a chicken trying to cock-a-doodle-do while being strangled.

Finally it died about the same time Hayley's and Deven's did.

I was proud, my first monster!

Deven

Gods, I don't know how we hitch-hiked to New Jersey from who-knows-where but we did.

The city felt nice after like 6 days in the wilderness.

I am not a big-city kid, but Los Angeles isn't a rural place by a longshot.

We did it! We made it to New Jersey!...

Now what?

Fortunately Chiron iris-messaged us from a fountain, we were supposed to go to the beach?

I don't know what this quest is about but it can't be too bad... right?


	15. Seeing Double

Deven

The sand felt good on my aching feet.

Hayley said we didn't have money to spare on a taxi.

Since when was she in charge of our financials?!

..Actually thinking of the alternatives, I'm glad she is.

I smelled something good.

A bakery!

I fished in my pocket - just my luck! A dollar bill!

I ran over to get a cookie.

* * *

Hayley

I don't know what Chiron was talking about, the beach was monster-free as far as I could see.

"I wonder why we should be here," I asked Fern.

"IDK," she replied.

"What do you think, Deven?" I asked Deven, turning to him.

"Who's Deven," said the boy who was obviously not Deven.

My brain registered that it was weird that Deven was rooting in a trash can.

Fern ran over to the boy.

"OMG HAYLEY, CALL A FREAKN AMBULANCE OR 911, DEVEN HAS AMNESIA!"

Fern said more quiet,"Did you hit your head!?"

She ran over and started shaking hs head.

"Get OFF of me!"

"Hey, Cole I found twenty bucks!" said a farmilier voice.

"Shazer!"

I stood dumbstruck as Fern ran over to give Shazer a hug.

"What are you guys doing here?" Shazer asked calmly.

"We could ask you the same question."

"I thought you were dead!" sobbed Fern.

Shazer slowly walked away from the shower of tears.

"Do I look like a girl who would die from an airplane crash?"

Fern opened her mouth

"Don't answer that."

"I wouldn't want to ruin such a sentimental moment but I still have no idea who you people are," said Cole.

"He looks exactly like Deven," I whispered to Shazer.

"Yah, that's why I became his 'friend'."

"Does he have parents?"

"No, he lives on the street, get this, he _pickpockets _for a living."

"Just like Deven does to me!"

"Do you know what this means," exclaimed Shazer, still whispering.

"I have no idea!" said Fern quite loudly while sticking her head right between Shazer's and my own.

Shazer rolled her eyes and continued,"It means...Cole and Deven are TWINS!"

"YAAAYYYY!," screamed Fern.

Cole was still standing awkwardly a couple of feet from the huddle.

"I know you guys are talking about me!" he said awkwardly.

I came away from the group.

"Cole, you deserve to have some things explained to you."

Then Deven came with a cookie in his mouth.

He took one look at Cole and spit it out in the sand.

At the same time the two boys said,"What the fu..

"Hey this is rated for kids, LANGUAGE!," I said.

"Okay, said Deven, but what the heck is going on!"


	16. Hermes

Deven

"Wait, so you're saying Cole is my brother AND my twin."

"It is more than plausible, Shazer explained, he looks exactly like you, he does not have any parents, AND he pickpockets, courtosey of his Hermes genes."

"I met him because he _tried _to pick _my_ pocket," she said, flashing a fiery look at Cole.

"That was a mistake," he said weakly.

"So I'm the one in the prophecy, not Fern!?"

"I am 99% sure!"

*Fern starts crying*

"Don't worry I'll be your sister, sisters are MUCH better than brothers!" Hayley said to Fern, giving Deven and Cole a look to say, DON"T MESS THIS UP.

"Really?" she sniffed.

"Really."

"YAAAAAAAAYYYYY," screamed Fern

"Okay now that the matter of Fern is settled, what do we do now?"

Before anyone could answer with a "I don't know", a figure appeared on the beach.

He was tall and had messy brown hair and brown eyes with a mischievous look on them.

If you still don't know who he is, he was wearing winged sandals and had a messenger bag slung across his shoulder.

"Hermes!"

"Dad.."

"Boys, I'm so glad you made it here alive."

"Well dad, so are we," smiled Deven.

Shazer rolled her eyes.

"Well, some of us."

Cole hadn't said anything yet.

"Hermes, like the greek god," he murmered.

*Hayley facepalmed*

"Guys we orgotfay to elltay imhay boutay emigodday," she said in pig latin.(I'll translate : "Guys, we forgot to tell him about demigods!")

"Oh yah, said Fern and then said to Cole, your dad's a god!

*Cole faints*

"Everyone shoots the evil eye at Fern*

"sorry?"


	17. Deven, the God of Cookies

**A bunch of stuff changed. No more Jamie and Daniel (I changed the chapters with them) It is NOT in the future now. The changes start at "Fern is Armed" if you want to reread the new version. This is just to clarify. Lil' Bit Crazy - OUT**

* * *

_In Olympus..._

"Sorry about Cole," Hayley apologized.

"No biggie," said Hermes.

"Wow, whispered Hayley to Shazer, I'm so glad Hermes picked us up and not my dad, Hermes is so nice."

A weary look passed on Hermes face.

"Guys...just come with me," he said gloomily.

He led them to the throne room.

Surprisingly, all the gods and goddesses, even Hades, were there.

Poseidon spoke first,"The quest was a sham."

"What?" said Deven, puzzled.

"It was fake, said Hermes, not real"

"What about the sayters," said Fern.

A bubble appeared in the middle of the room.

In it was Grover and two other sayters sucking their thumbs while they slept.

"Why do a quest if there was no point,"Deven asked.

Hera waved her hand indistinctly,"procedure, my dears."

"Sooooo, what do you want to tell us," asked Fern.

Hera sighed.

"Hermes, you better tell him."

"Tell me what," said Deven since he was the only conscientious boy.

"Son, you are a god."

"WHAT?!"

"How is it possible for me to not know this!" he screamed.

"You are only a fraction of your full potential, the other half is locked up, waiting for you." explaine Hera.

"Is Cole a god?" Deven asked again

"No." replied Hera simply

"So he's not my twin?"

"He's your twin."

"And this makes sense..."

"Completely," said Hera quizzically.

"Whatever," Deven sighed

"I don't want to be a god I want to be a demigod," Deven whined.

"Sorry, can't change who you are. Let's say I wanted to be a peacock, I am a goddess, I can't be a peacock!" explained Hera.

"Actually, said Fern, the peacock is your sacred animal, you could transform into one."

"Sorry, bad example," she apologized

"Let's say...uh...Frank Zhang, wanted to be a gopher, he is a demigod!"

"Actually, said Fern..

"You get the idea!," said Hera, flustered.

"Who's my mom," asked Deven.

Demeter raised her hand.

Hayley's reaction: *laughs hysterically*

Shazer's reaction: *laughs hysterically*

Deven's reaction: *face palm*

Demeter's reaction to Hayley and Shazer's reaction: *Throws cereal at them*

Fern's reaction: MUFFINZ!

"What would I be the god of?" Deven asked.

This time his mother answered,"baked goods."

*Fern, Shazer, and Hayley laugh so hard they all vomit*

"Technically, If I keep the powers locked up and stay in this present state, I will be a demigod?" questioned Deven.

Poseidon thought about it,"Technically, yes, but who wouldn't want to be a god!"

Deven, Fern, Shazer, and Hayley were already walking out the doors.

"They know walking out of this palace is like jumping off the Empire State building, right?" said Athena

*awkward beat*

"Somebody should help them."

*awkward beat*

Athena gets up.

"Why do I always have to be so dam responsible!"

All the gods and goddesses looked at each other.

"So now we have to make someone else a god," said Poseidon.

* * *

Percy wakes up.

5 minutes later...

"DAD!"

* * *

**This is not the end, like one or two more chappies. Deal with it.**

**Lil' Bit Crazy - out**


	18. The Final Chapter

Epilogue...

_Deven continued to prank, and once accidentally set Chiron's pants on fire!_

_Fern found a magical pig and now has it as a pet. Its name is Daisy and breathes fire!_

_Hayley left for the hunters but continually sent Fern, Deven, and Shazer postcards and trinkets._

_Shazer went back to Camp Jupiter, with her friends._

_Cole helped Deven set Chiron's pants on fire. And did nothing else eventful._

_The narrator continued to be boring..._

_And Nyan cat went on saying Nya_

_It wasn't a very exciting week._

_Oh, yeah, this all happened in one week!_

_Well, you know the gang!_

FERN: Lindsey, why are you talking to a wall?

_Fern! I told you not to interrupt me while im NARRATING!_

_Who is Lindsey? What about Giant Cookies? Will Chiron keep hs pants?_

Lindsey I'm hungry!

_Find out in..._

_Yeah,_

_Im_

_A_

_Demigod!_

FERN: DA DA DA DAAAA DA!

* * *

Wow, this is the end. Thank you to the few who bared with me and read till' the end. Most of all, thank you Hayley, without you this book would not be possible and I wouldn't be on fanfiction. Thank you Deven too, even though you didn't really help me that much... As you know, yes, Im doing a sequal, but it might be a time period before I start. School is about to start and I dont really want to start a long chapter book before I ajust to a lot more...**_homework._ **Hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW! And Thank YOU!


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